Former RCG Member Declares Himself A Non-Prophet*

June 30, 2022 | by Marc Cebrian

Hear me now, O people of the Armstrongismverse!

On this day of Tammuz 1, 5782 (June 30, 2022), I have publicly proven myself to be a non-prophet/non-psychic with non-telepathic skills. If that doesn’t inspire you, you’re reading the wrong blog.

Unlike how I non-predicted 24-hours ago, David C. Pack ignored my non-thought channeling powers by not sending thoughts into his head and he did not put out an announcement last night addressing the impending failure of his Tammuz 1 theory.

It seemed to be that all the metrics suggested the math was more perfect, because what are the odds? Peter, Paul, James, Jude, and John all get a pass and I don’t? I’m doing this all by myself here.

I am rushing to call this out while sipping coffee which possibly suggests as best as I can see that maybe today Dave might:

  1. Release a longer email to the brethren

  2. Give an another at-the-cooking-table video message

  3. Post a short announcement in Member Services about a forthcoming message

  4. Literally "weep because of Tammuz"

  5. None of the above

This is now written very plainly in wood, stone, and pixels. I know who that man is. (Yeah, that’s me. But I will sometimes refer to myself in the 3rd person.) Trust me, you can rest your head on your pillow tonight knowing I am not appearing all throughout the pages of your Bible.

On my own authority, I tell you that this is the single greatest, most interesting, awesome, mind-blowing, spectacular, amazing, stunning, eye-popping, jaw-dropping, shocking, electrifying, staggering, dramatic, extraordinary, immensely powerful, important, sobering, unbelievable, life-changing sentence you will ever read in your life­…doubled…that will cause you to vibrate in your chair, bounce off the ceiling, take your breath, and give you goose bumps on your goose bump’s goose bumps. Probably.

Now it’s just all very easy-peasy.

*There is still time to sell all.

Only IF I'm telling, not foretelling. Coincidence?


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