Prophetic Mad Libs
August 12, 2023 | by Marc Cebrian
The pressure to perform seems to be off the shoulders of David C. Pack of The Restored Church of God. He announced that the Kingdom of God would arrive at sunset on the first night of The Feast of Tabernacles, Friday, September 29, 2023. He down-shifted gears into maintenance mode during “The Greatest Unending Story! (Part 462)” on August 5. The entire sermon reinforced the fantasy that he is somehow right this time around. Finally. Hallelujah.
Does the Bible say the words he reads? YES.
Do the verses fit together? YES.
Could this eventually be God’s plan for mankind? YES.
Does any of that mean David C. Pack has a snowball’s chance in hell to finally nail the correct timing for the return of Jesus Christ and the Kingdom of God? Absolutely NOT.
Why not? David C. Pack is a proven false prophet, false apostle, false teacher, and documented blaspheming liar. Such men are forever disqualified from being believed by anyone that God is using them to reveal truth to His people.
It looks like the Pastor General of The Restored Church of God is going to coast for the next seven weeks, which gives him plenty of opportunity to fulfill his empty threats to do whatever “if we had more time.”
Despite the lack of edge-of-yer-seat moments, David C. Pack reliably provides a stream of content to prove how ineffective and inept he is.
Another Hill To Die On
Those new to the website might be interested to hear how obsessed a "Christian minister" is with death. Not only does he frequently launch into Chicken Little Mode, foretelling the imminent fall of the world as we know it, but he is the one expert on the planet who can discern who is headed for the Lake of Fire and when.
He does not exclude himself from his love affair with the morose.
Part 462 – August 5, 2023
@ 58:40 But one thing we absolutely know, the Kingdom of God comes at the Feast and anlishally and initially lasts one year before the Day of the Lord and every year thereafter is reckoned from the Feast of Tabernacles. I that’s a hill I stand on. It’s the hill I’ll die on. I will never believe anything else.
That might shock new members in RCG, but veterans of six months or longer learned not to flinch when David C. Pack swears upon his own life. Having no fear of tempting God, he raises up his mortal coil to heaven and offers it as collateral to affirm how convicted he is.
Whether or not those were wise decisions will be revealed by David C. Pack’s arch nemesis—the clock. Nothing on earth thwarts him more than the passage of time.
Flashback Part 423 – February 25, 2023
@ 29:41 So, I wanna state one last time, unequivocally, and I’ll just absolutely die on this ground. This is the hill I die on. It is impossible that Abib does not close with the Day of the Lord. Impossible. It’s unbiblical.Flashback Part 447 – June 6, 2023
@ 1:56:16 10-1-7-1000 is immutable. I will die on that hill. That’s the hill I die on.
Not satisfied with just his own demise, he ropes the brethren into self-destruction.
Flashback Part 448 Part 1 – June 11, 2023
@ 53:34 I don't want any lingering in the back of anybody's mind the idea that the whole thing is ten days or seven days. I wanna clear the deck that that picture is absolutely right. And this is the hill ya die on.
David C. Pack speaks with God's authority, holds up his right hand with his left on the Bible, and utters, "I swear to God this is correct." He knows letting his "yes be yes, and no be no" carries no weight due to a decade of "hit-and-miss" "trial-and-error" guessing.
Most brethren in The Restored Church of God must not realize that when their Pastor General wagers his own life for the sake of his latest theory, he is taking the Lord's name in vain. David C. Pack breaks the Third Commandment in the presence of the entire church and does it so frequently it is obvious his conscience is not pricked. The hot iron of his desperate arrogance must have singed away the nerve endings of his spiritual heart.
How can I possibly think this? He does it so regularly that he and the Headquarters hirelings must be perfectly comfortable with it. Otherwise, he would do it once and repent. Try compartmentalizing that one, Brad.
Flashback Part 389 – August 24, 2022
@ 50:46 The three Kingdom picture anchored around Trumpets is immutable. I would die before I would give up that truth. There is no question the Prophetic Kingdom Solar System that we have built is right.Flashback Part 421 – February 18, 2023
@ 59:41 But it cannot change the duration of the month. I will die before I believe otherwise. I believe it as an article of faith as surely as I believe the Millennium.Flashback Part 383 – July 23, 2022
@ 57:40 Subtract 1290 from 1335. What do you get? I'll tell you what you get. You get the length of the First Kingdom of God. And the answer is 45 days. It’s math. It’s inarguable. I’d go to my grave saying there’s no way to change that.
David C. Pack's swearing upon his death for theories he no longer believes is well-documented. Those statements expose the man’s character. You can see there is no fear of God before his eyes because he continually proves it. By his fruits, you can know him.
My Job
David C. Pack has a less-than-impressive job résumé. His proven track record for success does not chart well alongside his perceived advancement trajectory. He spins how much the church has advanced in knowledge and understanding while reality is a picture of stagnation and decline.
Part 462 – August 5, 2023
@ 15:54 My job is to absolutely lock down when the Kingdom of God (the Acceptable Year) comes. You could say, “Well, what if it isn’t this year?” Well, then, it isn’t this year. But you will wait till the next year. And that’s my job to explain. Of course, it is this year.
David C. Pack strongly disagreed one year ago.
Flashback Part 389 – August 24, 2022
@ 53:47 But it’s not my job to say it is this year. My job is to eliminate the Mystery of God and let God pick His year. Speaking personally at the very end, you now know this has to be the end of the Series. No possible way to go on. There’s no time…I couldn’t abide the discomfort of having to stand up and declare the year. It’s not my job. My job is to tell you what’s gonna happen.
David C. Pack hired himself for a job that did not exist, and nobody requested. He saw an empty imagined position, applied for it himself, hired himself, continually assured himself how fantastic his performance had been, created his own employment security, comforted himself with aspirations of further authoritarian advancement, and delighted at promises of future benefits with the world’s greatest retirement package.
The biggest problem with his self-proclaimed commission as the only living apostle and Elijah That Prophet is that his position is not real.
Part 462 is not David C. Pack’s best example of drama or outlandishness. It would be a stretch to even call it “interesting” from a prophetic malarkey perspective. What it does have is notable examples of Dave being Dave.
“The Greatest Unending Story” Series is not so much an unveiling of mysteries from God just before Jesus Christ returns as it is an unraveling of David C. Pack’s mental state as he publicly descends further toward a psychotic break when two points inevitably intersect.
The day David C. Pack’s religiously-fueled malignant narcissism hits the stone wall of reality when he comes to understand God is not the source of his presumptuous preaching, the man's psyche will crack louder than a glacier. We cannot fully comprehend the moment of terror he will face.
Until then, we will suffer through the Pastor General of The Restored Church of God telling everyone what his job is or is not based upon whatever neurons are firing through his head in that moment. These flashbacks illustrate that even David C. Pack is unclear as to what his job really is.
Flashback Part 440 – May 3, 2023
@ 38:53 I’m not setting dates anymore. I’m just not doing it. It’s not the thing I sh–I’m here to do. My job is to explain what’s gonna happen.Flashback Part 447 – June 6, 2023
@1:58:19 I’m not here to tell you the date. My job is to end the Mystery of God.Flashback Part 437 – April 24. 2023
@ 1:14:12 I’ve come to see my charge as not either to set the day of Christ’s coming or when the Kingdom of God comes soon after or even the year that it would happen. It is to explain the Mystery of God, including the Kingdom to Israel.Flashback Part 407 – November 30, 2022
@ 37:56 My job at the very end…is to end the Mystery of God. And put everything in its right place.Flashback Part 450 Part 1 – June 13, 2023
@ 11:37 I prepared the way. My job was to prepare the way.Flashback Part 454 – June 17, 2023
@ 53:46 I’m gonna destroy it and leave it shattered. Sorta like my job was to make sure you understand who the Sixth King is [Mr. Vladimir Putin]. And you cannot believe it's anybody else. Or I failed. And the burden's on me, and I take that burden.
The burden of failure is only felt when wrapped in accountability. No one in The Restored Church of God or anywhere else on this little blue dot holds David C. Pack accountable.
Flashback Part 458 – July 8, 2023
@ 1:14:00 So, that is over…My job is done.
If you think the idea of David C. Pack inventing his own perpetual employment security was a joke, read this one slowly.
Part 451 Part 1 – June 14, 2023
@ 09:33 My job is to lay out the best possible case for things we’re uncertain of. And each time a major wave of understanding will come, I need to go back and revisit it.
This quote encapsulates the Unending Series, perfectly illustrating why David C. Pack and The Restored Church of God are doomed to persist despite the burden of a 100% failure rate. Until the center falls apart, the brethren will rebreathe the same air, re-drink the same water, retread the same steps, and retake the same notes.
It has been David C. Pack’s job to keep the sermon machine going until the money runs out.
Prophetic Mad Libs
According to Wikipedia, the popular word game Mad Libs was created in 1953 by Leonard Stern and Daniel Price.
This was a hit when I was a kid, and I remember fun times with friends when we got our hands on a new book to play around with. Mad Libs is a book series of one-page stories with keywords missing so children could pick them randomly.
One friend asks for a noun, verb, or adjective without context, and you give a slipshod answer. Once the blanks were filled, you would read the story aloud together. I distinctly remember some stories too hilarious to get through without crying with laughter. That is what made it fun.
What made the word game addictive to a fourth grader was using “dirty words” to corrupt the otherwise innocent stories. Two of my favorite verbs were “humping” and “farting,” while nouns like “boobies” and “wiener” made sure we had plenty of erasers on hand while one kid kept a lookout for inquisitive parents. The last thing in the world you wanted was for your mother to discover a not-so-well-erased Mad Libs page where she could read what you last wrote.
David C. Pack of The Restored Church of God unintentionally created his own version of Mad Libs during Part 462. Rather than being funny, it was further sad proof of his deterioration when he begins four different ideas within 48 seconds and does not finish a single one. Four begin, and none end.
He interrupts himself, interrupts himself again, then interrupts himself some more, and finally interrupts himself to the point he forgets where he started.
The video clip has the bonus “the hill I’ll die on” moment at the start.
Part 462 – August 5, 2023
@ 59:01 I didn’t realize (and a lot of ministers who heard my sermon about fearing God and gathering at the Feast ((‘cause remember, God says over and over, you know, what what the the “the Last Days of Israel are until Shiloh come and to Him shall the people be gathered.” That’s what it says in in uh uh Genesis 49. They’re gonna He’s gonna gather them at the Feast and give’em (((Unbelievable. I wondered, and I wondered would God give people a one-day moed party outta the gate? And the answer’s no. He’s gonna give them eight days. Not even seven. Eight. And they’ll go away and even He. ((((People are people.)))) Still, only one-third will be gold and silver by the Day of the Lord.
If you have problems following this transcript, please listen to the clip. He did say this.
Dave played Mad Libs with the brethren, leaving it up to the audience to fill in his blanks. By the time Dave got to the gold and silver, he completely forgot what he was saying and moved on. Feel free to place your own noun, verb, or adjective. Because we are now adults, please avoid using boobies and farting as answers.
• I didn’t realize .
• And a lot of the ministers who heard my sermon about fearing God and gathering at the Feast .
• They’re gonna He’s gonna gather them at the Feast and give’em .
• And they’ll go away and even He .
We will have to spend the rest of our sorry days wondering what Dave didn't realize. There is no eraser in the world large enough to remove the empty ideas of David C. Pack and undo the damage he has done to people.
Here is the RCG-themed Mad Lib that is true but not funny.
David C. Pack is a false prophet whom God is not working with. He will never be right about the timing of the return of Jesus Christ. He is surrounded by loyal hirelings who care not for the sheep and ignore their Bibles. Giving him money gives him the power to keep lying to the brethren. Only by members seeing who and what he is can they make wise decisions about what is going on there and take action.
