Mr. Kranky Kislev
December 9, 2022 | by Marc Cebrian
Will you remember where you were and what you did on December 9, 2022, at 9:35 AM ET?
I will look back on this day and reflect on how simple life was when I was making my morning coffee. I had just poured the half-and-half into my mug and was about to put the carton back into the fridge when, in a perfect coincidence, I looked at the kitchen clock.
Surprisingly, my stove screamed at me—9:35 in the morning! No, it did not give me an utterance like John the Baptist had, but it felt like it did. Today is a big, big deal for the brethren of The Restored Church of God. Another prophetic rollercoaster comes to a stop. Or maybe, just a pause.
9:35 AM ET equals 4:35 PM Jerusalem sunset, which begins Kislev 16 on the Hebrew calendar.
This is when the 1335 of Daniel 12:12 begins. Or, shoulda.
This is when the faith of those in The Restored Church of God are rewarded. Or, woulda.
This is when God makes the world know that David C. Pack is not a biblical hack and prophetic kook. Or coulda.
The start of Kislev 16 is the exact beginning of a 15-day count to Christmas Eve when Jesus Christ returns to earth, bringing salvation to all the good little boys and girls inside RCG. That is December 24, 2022, at 9:35 AM ET if you want to mark your calendar.
Since nothing happened at 9:35 AM ET this morning, David C. Pack is stuck with titles like Biblical Hack and Prophetic Kook. For the time being.
The brethren of RCG have to remain in a disappointed state. For the time being.
The hirelings at Headquarters have to bone up on their Damage Control skills. For the time being.
The no-show today was preceded by Elijah not being raised this week to speak to the world, starting in Jerusalem. That was supposed to occur between Sunday morning and Wednesday morning. As it stands now, David C. Pack is not Elijah the Prophet and is not Joshua, the High Priest.
Do not be surprised if Mr. Kranky Kislev is more pissy and whiny than he typically is.
On Wednesday night, as a non-prophetic fog settled on the Headquarters Campus, the blue glow of the projector screen in the Third Floor Executive Imaginarium was in full blaze. The Packian Triad of Fraud was frantically searching for a way to explain why nothing they see clearly in the scriptures ever comes to pass despite it being too easy to misunderstand.
Instead of realizing this:
“God is not with us. God is not guiding us. God is not revealing secret knowledge locked away since before the world began. God is not blessing The Restored Church of God. God is not driving ‘The Greatest Unending Story!’ Series. Mr. Pack does not know as much as he thinks he does. Mr. Pack will never get prophetic timing right. Mr. Pack is a false prophet. Mr. Pack is a false teacher and a false apostle destined to repeat a cycle of failure. Mr. Pack lies to the brethren. Mr. Pack lies to himself. The hirelings at Headquarters support a religious fraud. The hirelings at Headquarters are betraying the trust of the brethren. The brethren are willing captives paralyzed by fear as love waxes cold.”
They posted this in Member Services yesterday:
Prophecy Update – Thursday, December 8, 2022
At this point, it has become clear for various reasons that we just wait to the 1,335. We should not expect anything to happen before this! We are on the clock once we “touch the day” but still do not know the hour. I personally intend to watch all the way to the end of this day.
David C. Pack
This is a hybrid Pathetic Update combining two failures into one posting.
The first sentence acknowledges the failure of Elijah to be raised between Sunday and Wednesday, making an appearance on Good Morning America unnecessary. Dr. Ranney will have to leave his finely-crafted press release in the Draft folder.
“At this point, it has become clear for various reasons…”
The various reasons are open to interpretation but start with physical reality being acknowledged. It is clear due to the passage of time. Again, this is a hybrid Pathetic Update. They waited for one theory to fail before commenting but still managed to get ahead of the next one.
“I personally intend to watch…”
The last sentence declares how righteous Dave is despite what he taught about timing for the beginning of Kislev 16. By Thursday night, he was aware “nothin’ was gonna happen” Friday morning.
What does “watch” even mean? Is Dave parked in a chair at the window in the Third Floor North Tower to quietly stare all day? Does he have Fox News on every TV with enablers assigned to watch it?
How do you “watch” while you are working? I never understood what that meant except to have a “Christ could return today” thought in the back of my mind while enduring meetings and answering emails.
“…all the way to the end of the day.”
Dave was very specific about it happening at the exact second of sunset at the biblical beginning of a full day. He was very specific about this being based on Jerusalem time. But there appears to be wiggle room.
Based on history, this is how Dave and Company will play it out:
This watch will bleed into the Sabbath. Anticipate another update suggesting the timing could still happen at any point during Kislev 16.
When that fails to manifest, then all 15 days before Christmas will be a time to continue watching because it has to be this year and the Kingdom of God / Day of the Lord has to begin on Tevet 1, which falls on a Christmas that falls on the first day of the week. (Recall the greasy, slimy 76-year lie told by a mathematical moron.)
“Do not be discouraged, brethren. All is well, and the prophetic picture is correct and complete. We have the right month! Everything is right on track, but there are too many proofs to explain now. All the ministers are amazed at what we missed.
Next week, Part 409 will explain to close out the series. Christ could not possibly come until the church understood this. Keep watching!”
It is scary crazy how I can channel the RCG nonsense.
Much like when Dave was Weeping for Tammuz when that did not pan out, expect another 15 days of Mr. Kranky Kislev to spin this little piggy all the way home to the ungrateful, sullen faces of The Restored Church of God.
The real question is how long until he gives Christmas back over to Krampus and moves on to the next fixation. My guess is that Janus will be back in play. And not The One Who Is Chandler’s Girlfriend.
