The Excuse Maker
April 21, 2024 | by Marc Cebrian
David C. Pack understands how to bring out the success of failure. The Pastor General of The Restored Church of God has plenty of experience capitalizing on prophetic disaster by twisting it into a blessing.
After completing Documented Failure Attempt #79, when the Kingdom of God did not arrive on April 8, he came prepared with a list of 43 reasons why Abib 1 evaporated.
So much for holding to these convictions.
Flashback Part 487 – December 23, 2023
@ 1:13:19 I’m just gonna tell you absolutely on God’s authority …I will stand on this date: The Kingdom of God comes Abib 1 [2025].Flashback Part 492 – February 3, 2024
@ 29:33 This’ll tell you the Day of the Lord is absolutely Abib 1.Flashback Part 505 – April 6, 2024
@ 1:14:35 I'm telling you absolutely before God, I still believe, as sure as I believe the Sabbath…
Abib 1 in 2020, 2021, 2023, 2024, and 2025 were all touted as fulfillment dates but later rejected for…reasons. David C. Pack has made a career of fixating on the significance of the insignificant, which is why his prophetic divining rod steers him toward whatever Hebrew date is next on the calendar.
The same old ideas from the Third Floor Executive Imaginarium are recycled year after year.
During "The Greatest Unending Story! (Part 506)," on April 9, 2024, David C. Pack utilized 93 minutes of the 98-minute runtime to practice the art of excuse-making in a room occupied by poor souls suffering from biblical dementia.
As part of moonwalking his own ideas, Dave whimpered his way through his list, stopping along the way to show the brethren his boo-boos so they could kiss them and make them better.
Dave recited manipulative words to his worshippers to elicit sympathy and portray the impression of growth.
Times he was uncomfortable (6)
Times he was bothered (3)
Times he was troubled (4)
Times he was suspicious (7)
Times he was struck (4)
Times he was hit (3)
Times he mentions something powerful (7)
However, there is one fact that really matters most.
Times David C. Pack has ever been right (0)
A partial summary of the excuses hammers the point without getting into the worthless details. David C. Pack knew in advance Abib 1 would fail because:
• Dave felt uncomfortable
• The Day of the Lord is actually Passover
• God uses lunar years and will not switch to solar years
• Abib 1 to Abib 1 does not equal precisely seven years
• The war in Jerusalem has not yet “peaked”
• Ezekiel ate the little book on Abib 5, not Abib 1
• A three-day New Moon party felt wrong
• “Guard Abib” is about Passover
• Dave discovered what the word “for” means
• Dave read Psalm 81 more carefully
• Jubilee Years cannot start on Abib 1
• Dave's last name means “Passover”
• The Temple Altar will not be built on Abib 1
• The solar eclipse was too popular with the heathens
• God wanted the Campus to be more beautiful
• And more…
Dave had to un-teach many things that he previously taught. If anyone still thinks it is a joke to say half the Series is reimagining the other half needs to listen to all of Part 506. For those fascinated by such details, Part 506’s transcript with highlights is available for download.
Abib 1 Failure Excuses Part 1
Part 506 – April 9, 2024
@ 05:36 Now, how did I know that Abib 1 was wrong?@ 05:45 First of all, I didn't really discover it was wrong Saturday night and Sunday morning when I began to reinvestigate it. It wasn't the first time I had trouble. I wanna hold up a list of about 43 points I had developed, and it's “Uh, What If Uh April 8th Passes?” I had a lot of problems with Abib 1. This list was produced…it would've been nine days ago.
Abib 1 Failure Excuses Part 2
@ 07:53 One thing remains troubling (and here's my notes) deeply so to me in light of this delay, and I didn't wanna say what it was, but I suspect I know its length. If we are here Tuesday afternoon (and we are), I know exactly why, and I'll explain what I know. I suspect we will be here. Now, I had that as my conclusion until about an hour before I spoke on the Sabbath. And it had some to do with this list of doubts I had and concerns I had. And so, it wasn't entirely a shock to me that some things settled into my mind starting Saturday night.
@ 08:40 Now, how did I absolutely know I was wrong? On Saturday night, something happened that I learned from Mr. Armstrong, and I've tried to practice it. I learned it as a student. I was terribly uncomfortable.
@ 09:08 And I knew from John 14 the Bible says the Comforter will lead you onto all truth. And when YOU’RE uncomfortable, something's wrong. Listen to it. YOU'LL be led into the truth. YOU must listen to it, and YOU’VE gotta be ready to humble YOURSELF and admit error as Mr. Armstrong taught.
Dave has a difficult struggle when it comes to first person pronouns. He seems to be offering instructions for others to follow when he was the one experiencing it.
Abib 1 Failure Excuses Part 3
@ 11:05 Now, you know the verses about how God leads apostles and prophets to the truth.
Dave sees himself in both roles. Always an apostle but only sometimes as a prophet.
@ 11:25 But I wanted just to to to tell you how I I knew this would be resolved, and I'd already been uncomfortable. So it it it went was kinda increased by orders of magnitude Saturday night and Sunday morning…
@ 12:08 By the Spirit. So when when YOU’RE uncomfortable, when the Comforter in YOU is not comfortable, that's God through His Spirit working with YOU.
Knowing if God’s Spirit was guiding you used to be measured by your fruits, not by how troubled you felt. A disturbed mind is a red flag for the field mollusks when interacting with Church Inquiries. The same standards are now lax at Headquarters.
According to David C. Pack, proper discernment to know if God is truly working with you is now gauged by the level of discomfort. The more uneasy you are, the stronger God’s Spirit is guiding you. Current members should pay close attention to this.
@ 13:23 But I have learned through the years…that when the Comforter in YOU is not comfortable (there's a principle in there for you, too) but for for a an apostle, boy, oh boy, sit down and, you know, unbuckle yourself from what YOU’RE attached to and see if God is gonna lead you to a different place. Then, rebuckle.
Do you think you feel uncomfortable, layperson? That is nothing compared to what your apostle must endure. The poor guy had to spend eight minutes explaining his anxiety. Kiss his boo-boo, will you please?
Only David C. Pack can declare how right he was about being wrong.
@ 27:19 Of course, I I it was I I I was perfectly comfortable yesterday. I didn't. There was zero chance. I knew there was zero chance this was gonna happen. So, at least you'd have to say when I sent the note out on Sunday, I was right. So, God is guiding me.
He is not convincing the audience. He is convincing himself.
@ 1:00:57 So, those are more proofs that we got it right.
Even Dave is man enough to admit when he gets things right. But, do not feel too bad for him since he appreciates the opportunity of being inaccurate.
@ 1:01:10 I'm glad, in a way, I got it wrong because it allowed me to go back and look much more deeply at some exciting things we're gonna get into.
His desperation is evident and sad. What a lost, pathetic wretch David C. Pack is. He is a shell of a human being frantically clinging to any semblance of legitimacy while his restless conscience screams otherwise.
Abib 1 Failure Excuses Part 4
@ 19:38 Okay, here's another big point. …The eclipse always felt way too small for God to use.
@ 20:00 I'm suspicious. The heathen are out there jumping up and down about, “Well, the return of Christ is coming.” And I thought the heathen are not a good source on this [audience laughs].
@ 21:23 I was highly suspicious and and and I I, but I knew on Sunday when I saw so much talk about it there's just no way God would add to what the world is doing.
The total solar eclipse felt too small but was also too popular at the same time. Damned if you do, Eclipse, and damned if you don’t.
If that excuse sounded pretty feeble, chuckle away at the next one.
Abib 1 Failure Excuses Part 5
@ 1:18:25 I also wanna say this Campus is is one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen in my life and every year, I like it more because it's fuller. But I thought of a couple things. If we went another two weeks, I try to think of, I try to have God's mind as best I can. We're all imperfect, but I try a little bit warmer weather is nicer and the Campus would look much more beautiful in two weeks coming into great public focus.
Abib 1 could not work because the trees and flowers were not yet in full bloom. Because, you know, Dave’s god lacks the ability to make the Campus look amazing in an instant whenever it wanted.
David C. Pack’s lying, deceiving god has to sit around and wait for Ohio’s warm weather to appear just like the rest of us dopes.
Sometimes, the excuses are biblical, but other times, Dave just moves too quickly to be plagued with accuracy.
@ 56:47 I thought that was one of the things that I wrestled with. I just didn't have enough time talk about, again, rushing. 'cause by the time we're done Sabbath, it'll be five sermons in um uh in a in a buh basically eight days. And it's still, we're still kinda rushing through this, but the greatest understanding's coming at the end, but it was always foretold to be that way.
Even when David C. Pack is wrong, he is not entirely to blame. His errors were foretold, which means God made them happen, just like when Dave falls ill. It is not punishment for his physical sins or personal hygiene negligence. No…when David C. Pack gets sick, it is because he was always meant to.
There is a divine purpose behind foolishly meandering for over eight years, tripping over his own feet.
In a candid admission during Part 501, Dave might have tipped his hand to where the root problem of all his prophetic confusion may stem.
Flashback Part 501 – March 30, 2024
@ 1:49:27 And it's fatiguing. And I don’t always sleep every night as I’m puzzling over these things. Rush to call it out.
Dave should puzzle less and sleep more. That might spare the RCG brethren hearing more pointless backpedaling like Part 506.
Part 506 – April 9, 2024
@ 1:13:03 So, so I I hope that Abib 1 does not mean in your mind any longer that's when everything starts. Or that blows up every metric I've told you. It blows up the Jubilee Year of release. Everything, all of it.
Since Abib 1 was put to bed, Dave could not leave the brethren to wonder what to fixate on next.
@ 42:16 If we're gonna keep New Moons, then we better keep them the way God says. But this is this is kind of the best we could at this point. Nobody else on earth is even keeping them.
Wade Cox just choked on his coffee. It is funny how RCG learned everything they know about observing New Moons thanks to internet research and downloading study papers written by lunar-obsessed self-righteous kooks spitting on the Hillel calendar from their ivory tower.
Yet, nobody else on earth is doing it. David C. Pack exists in a fantasy world of his own creation.
Once Abib 1’s breasts began to droop, Dave traded her in for his new trophy wife: Passover. Read these quotes and expect a gotcha afterward.
@ 15:44 So, we we we can't get beyond the Passover. We know that. You know that. That's impossible. But the question becomes, do we get to the Passover? We can't get beyond it. Impossible.
@ 16:29 So I began to recall issues starting with the Day of the Lord is Passover could not be wrong for even additional reasons I opened today with. Couldn't be wrong.
In between making excuses for why everyone was still sitting in the Main Hall, listening to Dave drone on into the vanishing point, he wedged in Passover 2024 proofs.
@ 25:52 What single date would we know is coming where you'd say, “Wow, that's so all important.” And it never struck me until about two days ago that just could never. It's so central to a Christian's life, so central to God's plan, that it could never vary or be late. And I realized it's the Passover.
The Pastor General of The Restored Church of God, who was trained at Ambassador College in Pasadena and spent hours on the phone with Herbert W. Armstrong, never before realized the importance of Passover and that it never moves.
Does anyone in RCG pay attention to what the man says? Not only is he admitting he is an idiot and biblical ignoramus, but he lives his life through the prism of severe head trauma. Every single year, he focuses on Passover for this, that, and the other reason, and every year, he needs to make excuses why it was not the Passover after all.
@ 29:30 So I I, it struck me just like a ton of bricks. Wait a minute, observe the month of Abib, and keep the Passover of the Lord… You're guarding the month because of the Passover. Now, that hit me like a ton of bricks.
@ 34:01 So, believe me, believe me, [chuckles] I'm telling you, and I’m we're nowhere near done. But believe me, you can lock this down as Passover. That's what can't tarry.
He laughed because he was aware nobody should believe him. Not even a little bit.
@ 35:45 The Passover introduces God. It introduces the idea deleavening your lives. It introduces examination. It introduces joy and so much more in seven days. Just think about it. Think about it. Wow.
@ 52:13 I realize we're seeing yet again more more evidence, just more evidence of the the Passover.
The Passover Gotcha is that as of Part 509 yesterday, he shifted to Iyar instead. All of the “proofs” in Part 506 were tossed out with the baking soda and pancake mix this weekend.
The Restored Church of Another god’s biblical schizophrenia is on full display as human idol David C. Pack puts his excuse-making skills to the test for abandoning Abib 1. The Pastor General is the perpetrator but also the victim of prophetic fraud, conjuring biblical excuses out of thin air but presenting them as pre-ordained challenges concocted by his cruel god.
He operates from a mental foundation that sleep-deprived discomfort is a sign that his god is using him. Being uneasy, disquieted, terribly troubled, and uncomfortable are the only fruits he can offer.
David C. Pack is a hypocritical, blaspheming liar, false apostle, false prophet, and false teacher preaching antichrist doctrines to an exhausted, apathetic membership. To say otherwise is just excuse-making.
