My AntiBucket List
September 2, 2022 | by Marc Cebrian
Having thus far endured David C. Pack’s, “not-really-a-50-day-count to Trumpets” and then his “it is wrong to count 50-days to Pentecost” with a retroactive 45-day count overshadowing the final 30-day count “but-not-quite-because-it-says-new-moon-not-a-full-month,” my optimism is growing a tad.
For those just joining us, that was not a parody. That was an accurate summary of David C. Pack’s teachings for the past several weeks of The Greatest Unending Story! series.
Just because we made it safely through Elul 2 with no prophetic incidents to report, does not mean we should get cocky. (Oh no, I have partnered up with "we" who is the same bastard who embarrasses Dave every time he reverses his own teachings or another date fails. — Take a hike, “we”!)
Time and chance is a big factor in life, no doubt. It would brighten his day more than that first cup of coffee if “something” happened to me or to Gary or to Dennis before the Feast of Trumpets later this month.
I shudder to say out loud that the biblical green zone has been entered because I know what happens in the Bible when you declare “peace and safety.” I am NOT declaring peace and safety!
Dave has stated in code across a few messages that people who leave key positions at Headquarters know they are attacking RCG. If you “grow a voice,” you are beating your fellow servants. Some who have left are “more wicked almost than the devil." These same people are his enemies, which makes them God's enemies. God's enemies are burned alive in the Lake of Fire on Day One of the Kingdom of God which could start at any point within the next 23 days.
The Feast of Trumpets begins at sunset on September 25, 2022. According to the current teaching, that is when the Day of the Lord begins. Who will survive up until then is a coin toss.
As a non-prophet/non-psychic, I will go on the record to state plainly that whatever David C. Pack teaches, I am fully contrarian. Yes, there are things he says that are in the Bible, but he will never get the timing right because God is not leading him to teach this stuff. God cannot validate a false prophet even if that false prophet falsely prophesied in God’s name and then un-prophet-ized himself and now says, “Elijah is only a title don’tcha know?”
The prophetic Rubicon has been passed and he cannot worm his way back into legitimacy.
David C. Pack has formally marked and called out the impending deaths of men by name in the past. Maybe because I was never a minister in The Restored Church of God, I am not also given that distinct honor. At least, not publicly.
Even if that does not occur, I started to formulate my AntiBucket List. These are but a fraction of the things that I cannot do within the next 23-ish days.
Get bitten by a tse-tse fly.
Choke on a ham sandwich.
Slip on a banana peel and fall in front of a moving bus.
Get electrocuted in the bathtub. (Though I do love my bubble bath and fresh Pop-Tarts)
Eat poorly prepared blowfish sushi.
Get arrested for drinking and driving, then flee into oncoming traffic.
Have blue ice from a passing jet fall onto my head while on a street corner.
Fall asleep while cleaning my gas oven.
Poke a sleeping Grizzly.
Try rock climbing for the first time on El Capitan.
Enjoy a nice dip in the pool during a thunderstorm.
Take up the hobby of tornado chasing.
Toss chum off a paddleboat.
Go skydiving.
Change a tire near a freeway off-ramp. At night. In the rain.
Take a brief trek with my buddy who just got his pilot license.
Run out of gas on the train tracks.
Get my arm caught in a combine.
Take a nap in front of a steamroller.
Prove to my friend the gun is not really loaded.
Travel to Columbia to meet my new mail-order bride.
If anyone has a great suggestion of what else I should not do, please leave it in the comments and I will add them on exrcg.org. Keep it clean, folks. This is a family show.
Bonus Quote – This is verbatim and not a joke.
Part 389 – August 24, 2022
@ 07:32 Would God absolutely identify Elul 1? Probably not but possibly. Certainly maybe. And maybe it’s even a probably.
