October 24, 2022 | by Marc Cebrian

The David C. Pack fecal-rich failathon continues. As a reminder, the next date on the table is set to fail in less than 15 hours. Set your alarm clock. Or don’t. Whatever.

Tuesday, October 25 at 10:56am eastern

During “The Greatest Unending Story! (Part 400),” Dave took a switch to the backside of the staff and informed them cuts were coming. He castrated Herbert W. Armstrong and the entire ministry of The Worldwide Church of God. God is going to destroy Thanksgiving and football. And he revealed that everyone in the room had never understood the gospel before.

The Headquarters congregation must have been aflutter to find out after supper who would get nailed in Part 401. Turns out, it was David C. Pack.

Within the first minute, he summarized the root problem with RCG today. He explained what was wrong with him, his motivations, and the direction the church was tracking.

This one sentence IS The Restored Church of God. This one sentence IS David C. Pack. And all the enablers at Headquarters. And all the zealots cheerleading from their chairs. Ready?

@ 00:45 The devil has to keep God’s people away from His plan.

Before 2015, The Restored Church of God was building momentum. The World to Come broadcast was on global television and growing on YouTube. Exciting projects were planned. New literature was being written. People were happy to be there. Hope for the future was bright. There was a "pep in the step" of employees and lay members in Wadsworth.

With seven years of “The Greatest Unending Story!” now on record, what do they have to show for it?

No new literature. No new World to Come—it will be five years in December. No gospel message preached to the world. No exciting projects. No videos keeping social media active. No Behind the Work to excite the brethren at the Feast. Staff is paid to sit and listen to weekday messages for hundreds of hours each year, keeping everyone from being effective, productive, and efficient. There is no Work going on over there.

RCG is now the David C. Pack Sermon Machine. Sermons and trees. That is their primary focus. With an occasional $500,000 lawn to acquire. (Enjoy your evening walks a lot more these days, Dave?)

Dave preached that the bottomless pit of Revelation might become the Lake of Fire. This topic is popular in Canada, so I will throw them a bone.

@ 05:46 If there’s smoke and fire in the bottomless pit, which sounds an awful lot like the center of the earth, which is molten anyway,…and you're thrown into the Lake of Fire, and you know that the devil goes into the Lake of Fire…Where do you think the Lake of Fire is?

@ 07:43 Is the entrance to the bottomless in Jerusalem?

If his theory is correct, there is a hole on the surface in Jerusalem that has a cavern leading to the earth's molten core. God could do that. However…

The earth's core is about 2,900 kilometers (1,800 miles) from the surface. The terminal velocity of a skydiver is approximately 60 meters per second. Dave may like to do this kind of calculation, but I do not. Giggle away, Pete.

The Mathletes out there can fact-check me, but a human being traveling for 2,900,000 meters at 60 meters per second would take over 13 hours to reach the Lake of Fire. Maybe they tuck in their arms and bend their knees to get it under 12 hours because they are in a hurry to end it all. If you can hold the cannonball position for 12 straight hours, more power to ya.

I am no geologist, but I am pretty sure molten rock is a tad denser than water. So, if a human body striking water at 60 meters per second would splatter them instantly, would not striking liquid rock negate the need for any heat?

If Dave’s theory were true, the Lake of Fire could be Lake Tahoe because the person would be dead before a hair is even singed. Maybe the burning would be for cleanup and not to agonize anyone.

Whether Dave thinks God wants to squish people after 13 hours of free fall contemplation or the law of physics is suspended at the end of the journey, so people float gently into the molten lava, I cannot say.

Either way, I can envision him watching, wearing sunglasses, reclined in a lawn chair sipping a Mai Tai while eating popcorn. Dave, that is the kind of human being I believe you to be.

A few minutes later, Dave was able to take an after-supper swipe at Herbert W. Armstrong while reading Revelation 17:10 because the same point made in Part 400 was not over-explained to his satisfaction.

@ 09:04 “And there are seven kings. Five are fallen, one is, and the other's not yet come." Mr. Armstrong, I think, understood that partly maybe because of Sardis. But he may have come to understand some things himself, which is one of the reasons why I tend to tip him away from 1%. That was very, very important. But he was only looking for the Seventh Head.

Dave had humility oozing from his pores as he graciously “tips” Herbert W. Armstrong’s prophetic understanding meter away from 1%. We assume he means climbing the ladder up to the 5% mentioned in Part 400.

The wicked historian in me remembered that Revelation 17:10 was critical “proof” to David C. Pack that Herbert W. Armstrong of the Worldwide Church of God was an apostle of God’s True Church.

I thankfully pulled the book “I Will Send Elijah To Restore All Things” from the dumpster before the gasoline was poured and the match lit over at the RCG Mail Building in 2015.

The subheading “Revelation 17:10 From a Mid-1930s Perspective!” is found on pages 76-77.

God revealed a tremendous amount of overall prophetic understanding
to—and through—Herbert W. Armstrong. Ponder for a moment just the
number of books and booklets he wrote that were almost entirely about
prophecy: The Wonderful World Tomorrow, The United States and
Britain in Prophecy, The Book of Revelation—Unveiled at Last!, The
Middle East in Prophecy, Are We In the Last Days? and more. This introduces
a major point of proof.

Revelation 17:10 speaks of the seven heads of the Holy Roman
Empire. We have long known that one of the most amazing facts about
this scripture is its time-sensitive phrase, “Five have fallen, one IS, and
one is yet to come.” Mr. Armstrong carefully discusses this passage in
another of his booklets on prophecy titled, Who or What Is the Prophetic
Beast? (p. 14).

Let’s understand. The sixth head, or Roman revival, culminated in
Adolf Hitler’s Nazi Germany. In late 1933, as Mr. Armstrong’s
Philadelphian ministry began, Hitler had been in power for almost a year.
He was the existing head described as “one is.” The phrasing of this verse
shouts that the full understanding of Daniel’s prophecies would remain
hidden (they were “closed up and sealed till the time of the end” – Dan.
12:9), along with the book of Revelation, until the 1930s, when the sixth
head would be in place.

This puts Herbert W. Armstrong directly into the center of the
revealing process that God would initiate thousands of years after the
books of Daniel and Revelation were written. Think of this another way.
Had Mr. Armstrong come a little earlier, the verse would not have fit, or
it would have had to state, “Five are fallen, and two are not yet come.”
Had Mr. Armstrong’s ministry started just 12 years later, the verse again
would not fit, or it would have had to state, “Six are fallen, and one is yet
to come.”

How long has it been since you were reminded of the profound
importance of this astonishing passage? Honest minds simply cannot
explain away its direct correlation to how God intended, for thousands
of years, to use a certain man to restore (or actually reveal)—AT THAT
SPECIFIC TIME!—to full understanding the approximate one-third of
the Bible that is prophecy.

Remember, as an apostle, Mr. Armstrong was “more than a prophet.”
By contrast, Daniel was a prophet, yet he was not permitted to
understand his own prophecies (12:8-9)—and other passages show that
he was still one of God’s greatest servants (Ezek. 14:14). But Daniel
was merely used to record great future events, while God used an
apostle to explain them.

We must consider one additional—and related—important point
before continuing. We have established that Mr. Armstrong restored a
vast amount of general prophetic understanding. Would—could—the
enormous understanding of the prophetic fulfillment of WHO WAS THE
FINAL ELIJAH be an exception to the revealing process? Considering the
implications of Malachi 4:5-6, it might be one of the last prophecies for
which God would make an exception! It should not then be thought
unusual or surprising that Mr. Armstrong would also be used by God to
correctly explain this prophecy. It is rather to be expected, and even
necessary, that He would, when one considers the giant OVERALL framework
of end-time prophecy that God did reveal to him. In other words,
the fact that explaining the Elijah prophecy included recognition that he
was the one who had fulfilled it does not preclude God from using him
to reveal it. The fact that it was describing himself has no relevance to
God using him to explain it. Think this through very carefully until it is
impossible to miss.

Mr. Armstrong was the tool that God was using to do all the restoring
to His Church!

I neglected to mention that the author of that book is David C. Pack.

Reading that subchapter is laughable now. Dave put all his chips on HWA to establish how RCG was the ONLY church “holding on to the truth.” But on Saturday, October 22, 2022, he made a eunuch of the man’s legacy.

I never kissed the ring of Herbert W. Armstrong. He never meant much to me during my stint in The Restored Church of God. Did God use him to have His way preserved into the 20th century? Sure. Was he an apostle? No. Was he the end-time Elijah? Ha ha no.

Dave believed it. He lived it. He taught it. He built his sub-Herbie empire upon it. The man’s typewriter and deck of playing cards are still in the cabinet displayed at the entrance to the Hall of Administration.

But Dave does not believe it nearly as much anymore. The longer time goes on, the smaller and smaller and smaller Herbert W. Armstrong becomes inside Dave’s mind and inside RCG. He will don a verbal fig leaf to soften the sting, but that is the direction the track has been heading since 2015.

Back in 2014, if I had said that Herbert W. Armstrong was not the end-time Elijah and that he understood less than 5% of Bible prophecy, David C. Pack would have grabbed me by the scruff of the neck and back of my belt and tossed me to the curb like a barroom bouncer.

However, suppose there are people inside The Restored Church of God TODAY who are upset or disturbed by HWA being given a generous 5% of prophetic understanding. Well, in that case, that person has an attitude problem. They are rebellious and stubborn. They are resistant to new truths. They think they know better than the Apostle. Oh, God is giving you insight that He is withholding from His Government on Earth? Government is everything, so you better suck it up, as Mr. Pack says. Mr. Armstrong was sincere, but he was sincerely wrong.

In contrast to bitch-slapping the Headquarters employees before supper, Dave opted to give noogies to his favorite minions after.

@ 12:30 I don’t suggest I’m the only one with wisdom in the church…I have two men I work with. Without whom I don’t know if we’d be where we are in terms of, you know, being able to figure this out in seven years.

So, it is their fault, too.

The Coffee Kid and Pepper Boy are equally guilty of the horrific prophetic roller coaster David C. Pack has been leading the members of The Restored Church of God on since 2015. No need for velvet gloves with them anymore.

The stammering Pepper Boy (aka Meat Shield) is Andrew J. Holcombe. You already know him.

The Coffee Kid is James E. Habboush.

Have you noticed how Jim has been able to avoid being a Meat Shield? Andy must keep losing the coin toss at the back of the hall when Dave needs a ministerial teat to suckle.

I worked with these guys. I served alongside these guys. I drank beer and shared meals with these guys. I have a personal connection with them.

Shame on both of you.
Blood is on your hands.
You are hurting people.
Your prophetic teachings are poison.
Shame on you, Jim!
Shame on you, Andy!

@ 27:54 The world is coming apart.

Dave launched into Chicken Little Mode again. Whatever is in the headlines and the Wall Street Journal this week are metrics that we are “at the end” and “cannot go another year.” For seven years running.

I listened to a sermon from 2005 when the sky was falling back then. The year 2006 took it in stride.

@ 32:01 Three things, then, become absolute. They become absolute.

Oh no. When Dave gets like this, take note. In the future, he will vehemently moonwalk away from what he declares as fact today.

When he uses terms like, but not limited to: never, absolute, impossible, inarguable, undeniable, or final, time will prove the opposite.

The never will eventually occur. The absolute will have wiggle room. The impossible will manifest. The inarguable will be disputed. The undeniable will be forsaken. The final will have additions.

@ 32:09 The First Kingdom is one month. A chodesh long. 30 days. You know, between new moons like all sacred months. Two. It follows harvest. And our last shot at that is Cheshvan. And three. This First Kingdom arrives in a year when a number of knowable metrics have been met. That makes its arrival sure.

Yeah, not so much. A Dave Pack Metric is as sustainable as dry ice in summer.

Part 235 – February 19, 2020
@ 28:07 But, I’ll tell you, there would never be any way we could ever talk about metrics again. It’s impossible.

Yet, two and a half years later, Dave still blathers about metrics as if that word means anything.

@ 33:56 So, these three absolutes are fixed in understanding and doctrine as was the thousand years in Sardis when Mr. Armstrong came with them. They are now fixed.

When the David C. Pack in our future attacks the teachings of David C. Pack today regarding the “three absolutes,” it will be accurate and fair to say, “David C. Pack of Part 401 taught false doctrine.” That may sound like a joke, but he has done it before. As the scribe, I just put a little bow on it.

If I am ever too correct too many times, Dave might make this non-prophet/non-psychic appear to be a real one. That would be super uncomfortable for both of us.

If church tradition holds for 90 years, some arrogant prophetic-know-it-all will thunder to his followers:

“Mr. Pack was sincere. But he was sincerely wrong. To be generous, I’ll say he had about 5% right. Some of you will feel I’m stepping on your toes. You gotta get over that. Mr. Pack was wrong. Oh, you’re taking away our Mr. Pack! I’m not diminishing him. I’m elevating him. I don't blame him. It wasn't God's time to reveal it to him. And look at the people who surrounded him at the time. He did his best with the little sleep he was getting."

I would consider believing him if Dave had not said this DOZENS of times before.

@ 34:11 We will never change One Month. And I will never change Cheshvan.

Sometimes it feels like much of a new article is content copied from others. Dave v. Dave is a perpetual showdown for superiority. They are both losers, so I do not care which one comes out on top.

Part 172 – April 27, 2019
@ 1:03:45 I wish I had understood that. Now I do. I’ll never ever ever again say the day.

Part 199 – August 20, 2019
@ 2:01:21 And I’m certain of these. I will never revisit them. I’ve got them.

Part 232 – January 29, 2020
@ 3:23:48 However, from now on, because I will never speak about timing again…I will believe Jesus Christ’s coming is now next Sabbath up…

Part 237 – March 7, 2020
@ 16:29 Now, whatever Sabbath it's gonna be, I will never move away from that.

To the skimmers: Please stop and read this next one slowly. The whole clip is a yellow highlight.

Part 236 – February 29, 2020
@ 59:28 …if nothing happens today, you could never convince me. Never. Impossible. That Christ does not come during Sabbath services. I would have to call Him a bald liar and Malachi was a liar, and Habakkuk was a liar, and the apostle John was a false witness of what Christ told him to report…

By admission, David C. Pack, Professional Blasphemer and Pester General of The Restored Church of Another god, called Jesus Christ, Malachi, Habakkuk, and the apostle John liars. Let God’s will be done. Amen.

If anyone questions whether David C. Pack is preaching “the day and hour” of the return of Jesus Christ and what is at stake for those trapped inside The Restored Church of God, this should seal the deal.

@ 46:24 So, if you’re looking forward to salvation this Tuesday, then you begin to see, “Wow, I guess I can look forward to this [the Great Supper], too.”

Brethren inside RCG keep “hanging on” because the salvation carrot is the biggest one there is. Dave is cunning enough to push a failed date just a few days here and push it a few days there. Do that three dozen times within 12 months, and you got people to stick around and pay tithes for another year.

The first and last few minutes often have the most compressed summary content. This wrap-up pitches the “last part” fake-out. Though the prudent understand otherwise.

@ 1:01:39 So, 400 Parts complete the charge. I have kept my charge, after all.

@ 1:01:48 The Mystery of God is over. There’s nothing else to tell you. As I like to put it. The Mystery of God ended. The final picture is unbreakable. Its working parts are too simple to get wrong. They’re just simple. You can’t change the Month. You can’t change which month.

Anyone reading for even a short time can guess where I will go with these statements. Since I am not particularly eager to disappoint, we will finish with a lightning round.

It is not over. There will always be more to tell. It did not end. It is not final. It will break very soon. Dave will discover a way WE got it wrong. Boohoo, prophecy is complicated. 30-days will morph into some variation. Cheshvan will only be the favored month until she gains a few pounds.

The Series is not over. Part 402 is coming. Dave will not wait one year.

Jesus Christ will not return with salvation tomorrow morning. That is too simple to get wrong.

See you on Wednesday, Kevin and Dawn.