May 12, 2023 | by Marc Cebrian

The Restored Church of God has a big problem on its hands. David C. Pack finally concluded “The Greatest Unending Story!" with a bag. I mean, bang. What are they doing with all this spare time?

  There is plenty of resources available to publish some kind of warning. Should the Splinters be alerted of the danger to come? If outgoing love and concern were a foundational trait of Headquarters, they could exercise brotherly love and release the sermons publicly.

  Dave, Coffee Kid, and Pepper Boy could craft a powerfully written article that is impossible to argue with, overloaded with proofs and metrics that only a fool would ignore. The UCG, COGwa, LCG, PCG, and CGI members could relive 2013 with what will certainly happen—SOON!

  Pentecost is observed by the Herbert W. Armstrong off-shoots on Sunday, May 28.

  The Jewish people observe Shavuot this year on Friday, May 26. Oh, those silly Jews.

  Daniel has been unsealed. The Mystery of God is ended. The Kingdom Plan has been “made plain.” All we have left is to wait “yet a little while” for Elijah to put on his Big Boy Pants “before Pentecost.”

  Hug your mother extra tight this Sunday. It could be for the last time before “raging world hell” erupts.

Part 441, on May 6, 2023, was loaded with laughter. The awkward 35 seconds after the sermon was over (but not) was an instant classic. I will never forget Kim Kardashian’s underwear making it onto the prophetic landscape.

These seven seconds have changed me forever.

But, it was not all fun and games. The following entry for David C. Pack’s Gallery of Stupid failed to reach the monumental heights of Stephen being killed for criticizing the Jewish Christmas tree, but few dumb things are.

Part 441 – May 6, 2023
@ 02:45 And I and I began to realize the Book of Revelation was over 600 years old when Christ said that [Luke 21:22] because Ezekiel ate it…Ezekiel ate the Book of Revelation. So, the fact that Christ delivered it 65 years after He died through John isn’t relevant. The book is an old, old book. In fact, Revelation is older than a number of the minor prophets. So, in the mind of God and certainly, in the mind of Ezekiel, the little book of Revelation certainly was written.

  The HWA folks would have plenty of background on where the “Ezekiel ate Revelation” teaching originated. This is not new. But Dave dips his toes into the Time Travel Paradox Pool.

  He felt the need to inject the age of the book as a fact. If he wanted to follow the logic further, he could have considered that the eternal God is outside time. I would argue that Revelation was written before Creation. He is not a “make it up as we go along” kind of Being.

  Now, with logic only Stephen Hawking or Christopher Nolan could grasp, it would mean Dave is also thousands of years old because he will/did speak with Daniel and the apostle John, and his words were recorded in the Book of Revelation.

  My head already hurts. Walking away from this.

Dave gave the Bible translators a parting wedgie on his way out the door. The second half of the King James version of Hosea 11:12 was not up to snuff.

@ 52:30 Here’s an example of of of trying to deal with a with a terrible mistranslation. “But, Judah yet rules with God and is faithful with the saints.” What? What's that? And the answer is a grievous, horrific, the worst mistranslation (probably) in the Bible.

@ 52:56 Here’s what here’s what the Hebrew actually says… “And Judah is yet wayward towards God and toward the Holy One who is faithful.” Anybody see a problem? It had it has nothing to do with the saints. It idn’t there a. They’re the quintessential opposite of faithful toward toward the saints and and and ruling with God.

  When Dave makes a claim but withholds his source, rest assured it is obscure. If a Greek or Hebrew word has thirty options, he picks the one he needs to sell his wares. This is along the same lines. He found a translation that made his point and ran with it.

  Through the marvel of the interwebs and the tremendous resources at BibleHub.com, I found the version he was quoting. It was not one of the usual suspects.

JPS Tanakh 1917
…And Judah is yet wayward towards God, And towards the Holy One who is faithful.

  Dave could have used a more popular version that says the same thing.

New International Version
…And Judah is unruly against God, even against the faithful Holy One.

  Fun fact: The JPS is a “literal” translation. The NIV is a “free interpretation.”

  Dave remembers very well that the NIV is never to be used for establishing True Church doctrine. So, his hands were tied with going that route openly. Instead, he stated his claims without proving where he got them and crossed his fingers that the RCG Sleepyheads would not bother to fact-check him.

  The Hosea 11:12 second half was a vital link in his prophetic framework. It HAD to fit, or his theory would fall apart. Much like a mathematician solving a long equation that almost works, he just needs that one number to be slightly different, so the whole thing fits perfectly. Without that wincing squeak-past number fudging, the result dissolves.

  Engineers and architects understand the details that make the difference between stability and collapse. Chemists care about whether compounds react or overreact. Doctors pay attention to prescribing rather than over-prescribing.

  But not David C. Pack. Doctrinal precision is now a magic show of misdirection and sleight of hand. He is a timeshare salesman still applying pressure tactics even as the hurricane sirens blare. He is a politician who breaks his own laws. He is a judge that overturns his own rulings.

  David C. Pack is a man who changes the rules of a sports game after it has already started just so he can pull ahead and quit abruptly as a winner. Dennis Diehl loves that story.

The desperate Hosea 11:12 contortion results from flawed non-spirit-led "inspired preaching." When Dave puts his most-valuable prophetic egg in the Miss Translation basket, a small amount of research becomes a risky tripping hazard.

  Thankfully, I have plenty of personal time to do a little digging.

  Of the thirty-two Bible translations of Hosea 11:12, fourteen support Dave's theory, while eighteen oppose.

18 Bible translations say Judah IS with God.
14 Bible translations say Judah is NOT with God.

  This is the sort of kindling atheists love to throw on the debate fire. Flip a coin as to which is accurate.

  When Dave needs the verse to say Judah is with God, he will use that one. When he needs the verse to say Judah is not with God, he has the proof. Since he calls his own tie-breaker, the outcome is predictable.

  I am no college professor, but an 18/14 split does not sound like a "grievous, horrific, and the worst mistranslation probably.” But, I am just a lowly, unordained non-prophet/non-psychic.

  How correct the Jewish Publication Society is is not the point. Dave was so desperate to make his construct fit that he had to go beyond the margins to outsource references that supported his ideas. This is another game-breaking precedent for The Restored Church of God.

  This is how things are now in The Restored Church of Another god. Any translation will do. The Bible has surrogates. “Because I said so” theology.

  David C. Pack has at least thirty-two differing translations to cherry-pick from whenever he needs to. Now that the JPS Tanakh 1917 version has proven to be accurate with a half-verse in Hosea, does RCG need to replace the King James as their doctrinal go-to?

  No. The JPS will go no further. If brethren started looking deeper into this translation, it would create even more uncomfortable questions for the uncomfortable field ministers.

  For fun, I looked up David C. Pack’s favorite pet verse that he has been misquoting for a decade. After all, he has been rushing to call it out and make it plain for the members of The Restored Church of God. Surely the JPS can shed a more-acceptable light on Habakkuk 2:3.

JPS Tanakh 1917
And the LORD answered me, and said:
Write the vision, and make it plain upon tables,
That a man may read it swiftly.

  Dave has long contended that Habakkuk 2:3 shows him writing and then calling it out. The Jewish Publication Society disagrees. There are two separate people present, the writer and the reader.

  Do not expect this version to make hay with Part 442 and beyond. Consistency is a crutch for the weak. The JPS Tanakh 1917 is a temporary Pick-A-Part for Bible doctrine in this specific case.

@ 1:08:28 Now, the Last Great Day cannot be kept because God intends to move it. He delays it one month, and the world gets the great gets Tribulation and then the Great Tribulation instead.

  At least that is better than when Dave moved it to after the Days of Unleavened Bread. Yeah, that was a thing a month ago that feels like ancient history.

  Dave then takes the church on an 11-minute tour of his Speculation Garden.

@ 1:11:07 So, I’m gonna present a case. A possibility that’s really possibilities. It’s a fairly strong one. I’m not certain, but I wanna tell you some things that I’ve learned.

  The value of uncertain teachings is up for debate. Calling a theory things "learned" is also open to interpretation. David C. Pack does not have a stellar track record for the longevity of his verbal musings.

@ 1:16:47 So, we’re we’re beginning to ask the serious question, is this [shot glass] Kingdom a half? Is this Kingdom a half a year long?

  When Dave poses the question, the answer is Yes. He leads brethren through the proofs, then concludes with a riveting “I’m not asserting this.” He plants the seed for an “I was right” strut watered with plausible deniability.

@ 1:21:00 For the moment, and I’m perfectly willing to state permly a half-ish, but maybe it's actually a half.

  This is his fatigue-related diminished communication capacity’s version of “perhaps” and “firmly” pressed into a hybrid sandwich of verbal efficiency.

  The brilliance of David C. Pack has now transcended normal human perception.

@ 1:22:01 …’cause this is my last message, and then there comes a point where after {my} his last message, it will surely come. There nothing else to tell you.

  Part 442 will prove otherwise. But Dave truly saved the best for last. He cannot end the Series without focusing on himself.

@ 1:23:26 "Mr. Pack, I've been listening, really paying attention for years to things you've explained, and I don't understand what happened to a number of things in your instructions.”

  Dave sets up a long sequence of “rhetorical questions” imaginary brethren may have. At the end of the 27-minute section, you might think he would end with "I don't know" in a faux-humble attitude.

  Nope. It is all about Elijah. Elijah answers all the questions. Reading the portions not highlighted aloud helps you see what the brethren are subjected to for hours each week.

@ 1:27:40 In Matthew 17 and Mark 12 says, “Elijah comes first.” “Mr. Pack, when did you learn you were Elijah?” And I would have to stammer. Do you understand? I don’t know. I still don’t know when I became an apostle. So, I’ve wondered, Okay, would you would you at some point, I mean, I and I looked at some of the things I’ve explained am I am I explaining this to God’s people as an apostle and a teacher or as a prophet? It feels more it’s always felt more like an apostle and a teacher. Way more than anybody else has, but it it, I'm not I'm not speaking words put in my mouth.

  He cannot help but get defensive. It must be so exhausting to be continuously keeping that guard up.

@ 1:38:43 Now, I told you a while back I had this assignment that I was to make plain (my job ultimately in my last message) was to make plain the first three verses of Habakkuk. So, let’s just go over there. Did I did I I was partly right.

  The question was not worth finishing. Just make the point about being partly right. Yikes.

This is when the RCG internal alarm bells should have gone off. If only they were not stuffed with complacent cotton. Those who stopped listening to Dave do themselves a disservice. Ignoring abuse does not erase it from existence.

@ 1:42:06 I mean, I I would love to think we’re just waiting for Christ and eternal life. That does not appear any longer to be possible. Unless God’s gonna do the biggest thing he’s ever done on Earth and say nothing about it.

@ 1:45:00 In any event, in any event, it should be very clear, brethren, it should be very, very clear that an Elijahn period arises…

@ 1:47:40 Therefore (potentially) there is a 3 ½-day period of {me} Elijah.

@ 1:47:58 And that could start at the beginning of the six months because it's not Christ who's coming on a Sabbath. It's world hell (potentially) off of the rise of {me} Elijah on a Sabbath.

@ 1:48:54 So, I do not think we’re waiting for Christ except indirectly unless all those verses, you just fold'em away, and they’re gone. They just don’t fit. Fold’em. All those verses mean something else.

  If this is wrong, then the Bible is wrong. Add this to all the other times that was the case.

@ 1:50:34 I don’t know how it’ll be. Maybe we don’t have to wait till Sabbath. Maybe we have to wait’ll the next Sabbath. Or, maybe in some way, but it looks like “it will surely come” is that that “it won’t tarry, it will surely come” is not talking about Christ. It’s talking about a great announcement across the world, and the last thing I’m supposta do while we wait for this terrible vision is tell you about it. Call it out. Close the sermon with it. I don’t know how the Mystery of God for us could remotely be over without knowing this. So, Godspeed whatever day’s gonna do this…

The brethren of The Restored Church of God are NOT waiting for Jesus Christ to return.

  The brethren of The Restored Church of God are waiting for David C. Pack to become Elijah.

  Elijah was relegated to the backseat for a moment, but the Series cannot end on that note. Jesus Christ must decrease, while Elijah must increase.

  How will Elijah be raised? God has to speak to him. The brethren of The Restored Church of God are waiting to be told God spoke to Mr. Pack audibly and gave him explicit instructions.

  For the people still attending by then, it will be too late to get out. Once David C. Pack starts performing miracles, the test is already over for the note and non-note takers alike.

  The first possible Sabbath for this is Saturday, May 13, 2023. Then, on May 20.

  Pentecost is on Sunday, May 28.

  Now…we wait.