March 29, 2023 | by Marc Cebrian

David C. Pack of The Restored Church of God waved the white flag of surrender on more than just Abib 1 last week. Proving it does not require 30 hours and 37 minutes to explain the arrival of the Kingdom to Israel, Team Fraud at RCG used only two paragraphs to shift the coming of God from March 22 to April 1.

  See. God has a sense of humor and is a fan of irony. The current plan now begins at the cusp of April Fool’s Day.

  A limp-wristed update Saturday night opted for riddles rather than the plain truth presented with power.

Saturday, March 25, 2023

Dear brethren,

There is unanimity at Headquarters about the apparent time this will happen. Maybe that will comfort you. You might at least want to note that the 10th of Abib referenced in the last email is also a Sabbath.

Warm regards,

Church Administration

Even Dave was too disinterested to attach his name to it. Instead, the Meat Shields in CAD took one for the team. Those nameless, faceless "staff members" emailed God's people when the Kingdom to Israel "apparently" may arrive. Exactly as you would expect when you read the Scriptures.

  Moving the dates for the return of Jesus Christ is no longer constrained by 3-tier chess-level strategy and precision. Checker pieces are flat, equal, and move in the same direction. The move is easy when there is no thought behind it.

  The last two updates prove that 30-plus hours of noteworthy hot air and attention-straining details are entirely unnecessary because the same result can be accomplished in two short paragraphs.

  RCG does not require the apostolic bloviating of David C. Pack, Pastor General, and Elijah That Prophet-Elect. They just need a competent typist who can hit “send” on an email.

  Members had to resurrect the older update from their un-recycled trash folders in order to decipher the clue encoded in the Saturday update.

  This is the cryptic Abib 10 quote referenced from the previous update.

Prophecy Update - Wednesday, March 22, 2023
▪︎ But the delay seemingly would not get out of early Abib, which involves many critical things. For instance, the Passover lamb is selected on the 10th---­­­. To do this, Israel would already have to be back!

  This is the most passive date shift of all the 400s. Using Abib 10 as a sideways suggestion exposes how befuddled those pacing in the Third Floor Executive Imaginarium are this week.

  This is a ploy to buy time while also establishing a plausible deniability umbrella. After nothing happens on Abib 10, Dave can trumpet how much he knew it would not happen and then get into the semantics of what was written. He never SAID it would happen on Abib 10 but suggested the brethren think about it.

The line, “There is unanimity at Headquarters…” pads the insulation by spreading the blame post-failure.

Is there ANYTHING the cowardly weaklings
at Headquarters won’t agree to?

  Not one man at the table had doubts about Abib 10? Not one man raised his hand to object? Not one man went on the record opposing this desperate grab?

  Remember the “unanimity” after Abib 10 fails. It means the lying spirit that has captured Headquarters has an “unanimity” hold on every hireling there. None can be trusted.

  All of them lack wisdom. All of them are complacent. All of them possess corrupt judgment. All of them will be proven to be fools (again) by sundown, April 1. There is “unanimity” of failure at Headquarters.

  On the Sabbath, give a special “April Fools!” salute to these compromised enablers:

Bradford Schleifer • Edward Winkfield • Ryan Denee • Jaco Viljoen
Carl Houk • Timothy Ranney • Kenneth Orel • Jim Habboush
Andrew Holcombe • Salasi Jezhi • Frank Lydick • Raymond Garb

  The Kingdom of Dave arriving on April Fool’s Day is perfection. It aligns all the proofs, metrics, and math like nothing else could. There could not be a more suitable day for David C. Pack to turn invisible to the world. (Technically, he is invisible to the world already.)

  David C. Pack is the ultimate April Fool pranking the members of The Restored Church of God who allow themselves to be fooled. And that is no joke.